THE ESSENCE OF ALL MYSTERY

THE ESSENCE OF ALL MYSTERY

3 AM and awake?
Could be one of the reasons for me:
-Chit chatting over the phone (WITH ‘FRIENDS’, NOT SPECIFICALLY GF)
-Watching a movie/ TV series
-Trippy while experiencing a digi high and building up on my insomnia
-Its ‘that phase again when your mind is on a roller coaster ride’ and a lucky day to write something.

If I look into break up in terms of frequency of occurrence, the last two have virtually been wiped out of occurrence.
Ok..
Those who know me well enough, once they read this, will disagree in unison about me not being trippy because to some, I always am high. However, its been ages since I have actually jotted down the trajectory of emotions that are in random Brownian Motion.
I sound scientific because I heard in the news that GSLV-D5 has been successfully launched. It is India’s first self made cryogenic rocket. 20 years and Rs. 200 crore is what it took to finally achieve success.

Lately, i feel i certainly have lost my touch to write. Not that I was a Shakespeare or a Frost earlier, but the “effortlessness”  that once provided the Midas touch, the butter smooth flow has been missing, or may be, has vanished altogether. So, I decided to revive the same by actually writing about this very feeling of loss.

 The thing that remains unchanged is that my blog has been my outlet when even the best of friends have gone to sleep or are too occupied to handle my cribs. So, yet again, like every time, its a loss that prompted me to write. That way, I think I like these intermittent, sporadic waves of losses that prompt me to get back to jugglery with words. But this time its different. This time I am not focussing on words that I juggle with but the overall process of jugglery. This time, its like the doctor himself is the patient looking for a cure.

So, like a good doctor I have set out to look for the diagnosis. Its hard. Really hard.

You know you have lost something but you don’t know what. To worsen the situation, you have nowhere to look but grope in the pitch dark. What would you do?

The dilemma?

Since you don’t know what you have lost, you don’t know what to look for and since its dark you cant look at anything anyway. So from one perspective it hardly matters whether you know what you have lost because you cant look for it and from another, even if you could look at things it wont matter because you don’t know what have you lost.

There is a third choice. Choices beyond being grumble some about not knowing what is lost and complaining about the darkness that surrounds.

ACCEPTANCE.

The first step is to accept that you don’t know what you don’t and you cant change what you cant. That is the moment when you ‘will know’ about ‘the changes you can make’ in your approach to find atleast something in the darkness.

Grope and touch things that you stumble upon in the black dark, keeping a faith that you will find something that will make you feel that the loss has been mitigated. Make friends with uncertainties and the consequences that follow. Dont be afraid to take chances. Actually, you haven’t lost anything but only injected with an idea of having lost something. That is the essence of all the mystery.

As I end this piece, I feel I have found something to mitigate this feeling of loss by just touching and feeling anything that I came across in this darkness. I actually hadn’t lost anything; I was simply out of touch. It was effortless to write about the perception of having lost the ‘effortlessness’.